Mile Marker 46: Birthday Reflections from the Road

This weekend I will turn 46.

While I am looking forward to a girls’ birthday getaway weekend in a cozy cabin in the beautiful mountains of southern West Virginia, where there is limited cell phone service, spotty wifi, a bottle of wine and hot tub under the stars with my name on it, I am also struggling with finally being on the ‘downward’ side of my 40s.

Maybe it’s because at 46, I’ll no longer be in my “early 40s.” 

Or possibly, it’s because the concept of turning a half-century old is creeping up on me much faster than I’d like to admit.

Whatever it is, despite the beautiful weekend we have planned to celebrate, as well as all of the special gestures from my family and friends to make my birthday special, I am still really finding it a challenge to embrace 46 with open arms.

With my birthday on the horizon, I’ve been giving even more thought to this process of midlife reinvention, finding our purpose, and pursuing happiness than ever before. 

I can’t help but think about the changes that are inevitably on the horizon for my family - specifically, the fact that my daughter will be heading off to college next year leaving me an empty nester. I know I have some time left to enjoy my daughter still being at home, but like so many women who have navigated this major life transition, I am left wondering - what’s next for me?

Recently, I’ve been listening to one of my favorite inspirational podcasters, Mel Robins. If you haven’t had an opportunity to listen, I highly recommend The Mel Robins podcast. She is the perfect no-nonsense, advice giving gal to set me straight on the eve of my 46th birthday.

In her recent podcast series, “Reinvent Your Life,” Mel compares reinventing your life to a road trip.

She begins the series by asking honest questions about where you are in your journey, using your age as a “mile marker.”  She argues that unless you know where you are today, you can’t figure out how to get where you want to go tomorrow.

 So Here I Am at Mile Marker 46.

Taking Mel’s advice, I decided to reflect on where I am today, and to think about some of the important life lessons that I learned so far on this road trip we call life.

At mile marker 46, I am beyond blessed with an amazing family. 

I am in awe of the beautiful, kind, intelligent and independent young woman my daughter, Liv, is becoming.

My husband of almost 23 years is my rock, and despite frequent arguments about me stealing his socks (see this Lede News article) I am blessed to have found such a supportive life partner who is also a strong and loving father to our daughter. And of course, my four-legged snuggle buddy and sidekick, Jewel, is the best dog in the world!

My parents are in good health and, despite sometimes driving me crazy with their technology questions, (sorry mama) are amazing grandparents to my daughter.

At mile marker 46, I have an amazing group of friends.

Although we may not talk every day, I cherish both my life-long friends who have been there since mile marker 1 and my friends who have joined me along the way.

At mile marker 46, I can honestly say that I have found my tribe.

If it is true that you are judged by the company you keep, I am surrounded by a supportive group of gorgeous, amazing, strong, ambitious, bad-ass women who are entrepreneurs, attorneys, mothers, business owners, medical professionals and educators.

These women not only support me, but they also inspire me.

At mile marker 46, I have faced the hard realization that it is way, way more expensive to look good.

I said what I said. Botox, hair extensions, nails, lashes and face creams don’t come cheap. Just ask my husband!

I have also not arrived at mile marker 46 without hitting some bumps in the road. 

There have been missed exits, wrong turns, major life detours and a few times when I have felt completely lost along the way. 

But looking back in the rear view mirror, I now realize that all of those detours helped me to get where I am both in my career and my personal life today.

So I challenge you, fabulous friends over forty, to take a look at your mile own marker.

Where are you? How did you get there? Where do you want to go?

By taking some time to “pull over” (as Mel says ) and reflect on those questions, it will help you figure out where you’re going next.

As I continue to navigate life in my 40s, I hope you will ride along with me!

Like it or not, I am full speed ahead about to pass mile marker 46! Here is to all that it has in store for the next leg of my journey!

Cheers!

Stacey C.