Fall Focus: Progress, not Perfection.

"Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

The month of September has always been a time of reflection and reset for me. While it may seem strange, the transition from the lazy days of summer to the back-to-school routine brings a sense of renewed energy and a fresh start. It’s also a time to establish new habits and to let go of those that no longer serve you.

Fall is the perfect time to start your own journey of reinvention, to reflect on those habits and routines that no longer serve you, and to let go of what is holding you back from being the best version of you.

Fall is a beautiful reminder of the need to shed what no longer serves you in your life.

In this autumnal spirit, I have decided that it’s time to let go of the exhausting pursuit of perfectionism and instead focus on progress - no matter how big or small.

Progress, NOT Perfection.

Progress, Not Perfection, is a mantra heard in many addiction and recovery organizations, and with good reason. It encourages you to focus on your progress one day at a time rather than overwhelm yourself with the pursuit of perfection. I also believe that it can apply to many of us who, like myself, recognize the need to take a step back and focus on the small daily steps that lead to positive change.

So this September, I am adopting it as my own personal mantra for the fall - PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION.

“If you focus on perfection, rather than progress, you are missing out on witnessing the small steps that led to positive change in your life.” -Stacey C.

Anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I am a Type-A, Virgo, control freak perfectionist.

And while that quality may be considered admirable by some, my own quest for perfection is creating a tremendous amount of self-induced stress in my life.

Trying to be the perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect daughter and of course the perfect employee, teacher and professor is quite simply impossible.

Not to mention exhausting.

Did I mention that I also strive to have the “perfect body” and that struggling with my own weight and body image has been an issue for me since I was a teenager?

I beat myself up if I don’t get a minimum of 10,000 steps every day, if I don’t “close my rings” and if I go over my Weight Watcher points.

I often catch myself talking negatively about my body in front of my own daughter - TOTAL. MOM. FAIL.

So, as you can see, my constant pursuit of perfection is no longer serving me, and it is time to LET. IT. GO.

“Unfortunately, my guess is that I’m not alone. Many women who are moms, professionals, wives and valued community members, find themselves on the same exhausting quest for perfectionism in all aspects of their busy lives…And it has to STOP.”

So, as I begin my journey to focus on Progress not Perfection, here are a few things that I am going to work on Letting Go:

“Cheers to new beginnings, fresh starts, and letting go.”

• Stacey C.

Five Things to Let Go of this Fall:

1. The Number on the Scale: This is a really tough one for me. I weigh myself weekly and the number on the scale has the power to either make my day or completely ruin my mood. While I will continue to hold myself accountable for my progress with weekly weigh-ins, I want to work on letting go of allowing this number to have so much control over me. Whether it goes up or down, I need to focus on my healthy habits and lifestyle as a whole rather than one number on a scale. If you are like me and are hyper focused on the number on the scale, we need to work on letting this go. Progress, NOT Perfection.

2. The Quest for a Perfect Body: Relatedly, at 46, I have come to accept that despite working out and eating healthy, I will never achieve “the perfect body” as I see it in my own mind’s eye. Just like many women, when I look in the mirror, there are parts of me that I would love to change. While I am a strong believer that diet, exercise and weight training is an essential aspect of reinvention and self-love, I also need to be more realistic in my expectations. I need to work on letting go of perfection and instead focus on embracing the woman that I am, and all of her curves. And guess what? My bet is that you do too. Progress, NOT Perfection.

3. Being a “Yes” Girl: On a completely different subject, another aspect of my life that I need to let go of is what I refer to as being a “Yes Girl.” My suspicion is that you already know exactly what I mean because as a busy mom, wife and/or professional you too are probably a “Yes Girl” as well. Let me explain. “Do you want to teach as an adjunct professor this fall?” YES. “Do you want to be a co-chair of the social media committee?” YES. “Do you want to go to dinner after work one night this week with the girls?” YES. And while I truly love and embrace all of these enriching activities -both professionally and personally - I need to learn to prioritize, set boundaries and simply say NO. There is so much power in saying No. What can YOU say NO to this fall? Try it out with me!

4. Comparing myself to Others on Social Media: Not much to say here about this one. Again, at 46, I’m over it. While I enjoy social media to connect with friends and family, sometimes you just got to let this go.

5. Never Taking a Day to Rest: This is a HUGE one for me. And judging by my own fabulous friends over 40, it’s a HUGE one for you too. We don’t rest. We don’t stop. As a working mom with a husband who travels, it’s damn near impossible. The house always needs cleaned, the laundry is always piled up (and so are the bills) and God forbid I miss a workout - even on Saturday and Sunday mornings. But I am determined to try to find a day -or an hour-to rest this fall.

So as we begin the season of pumpkin spice, football and bonfires, let’s take a cue from the falling leaves and shed those habits and routines that no longer serve us. Let’s let go of perfectionism and instead focus on our progress. Let’s quit worrying that the world will end if we don’t attend every function, every meeting and every ball game. Let’s say yes to the invitations that reinvigorate us and no to the ones that drain us. Let’s ditch the damn number on the scale. And most of all, let’s work together to reinvent ourselves as the amazing women over 40 that we are, one small step at a time.

With pumpkin spice and everything nice….Cheers

-Stacey C.