Happy Wednesday, Fab Friends over 40!
Recently, I ran into a dear friend in the deli at Kroger. We have been friends since childhood, the kind of friend I genuinely love and am always happy to see. And yet we had not talked in more than a year, even though we live in the same town.
How does that happen?
There was no falling out. No big disagreement. Life just got full, as it so often does in our 40s. Work. Family. Schedules. The never-ending list of things that need our attention. We tell ourselves we will call next week, make a plan soon, or catch up when things calm down. Then somehow a year slips by.
That chance meeting was a little wake-up call for me. Many of us do not need more friends. We need to make more room for the beautiful friendships we already have.
Friendship is not the extra thing
I have been thinking about this even more since starting a new job. Beginning something new takes energy. It asks you to learn, adjust, show up, and find your footing. In a season like that, the support of friends is not a luxury. It is part of what keeps you grounded.
The friends who know your history can remind you who you are when everything feels new. They are the ones who let you talk it out, make you laugh, celebrate the brave step you took, and tell you the truth with love. We need those people.
And the funny thing is that friendship does not always require a grand plan. Sometimes it is a coffee, a walk, a workout, a tailgate, a girls' weekend, or a quick text that says, “I have been thinking about you.” It is making the choice to protect a little time for each other before every other responsibility fills the calendar.
My BCB started with a workout
Some of the very best friendships in my life started at the gym. Many years ago, a group of girls started showing up to work out together. Somewhere between the early mornings, sore muscles, encouragement, and the occasional “you've got this,” we became the BCB, my bootcamp buddies.
We are all very different people, and maybe that is part of what makes it work so beautifully. Different personalities, different lives, different stories. But we get along fabulously. What started as girls working out together turned into girls' trips to Naples, Florida, countless memories, and more laughs than I could possibly count.
Those women have seen me sweaty, tired, determined, probably a little cranky, and more than a little tipsy on occasion. They have also seen me very much myself. They have been there for the celebrations, the hard days, and all the in-between moments. That is the kind of friendship I hope we never take for granted.
Make the plan, even when life is busy
I know it can feel impossible to add one more thing to an already packed week. But friendship does not need to be another complicated obligation. The plans that last are usually simple and specific: coffee on Saturday morning, a walk after work, dinner once a month, or a date on the calendar for a weekend away.
Instead of saying, “We need to get together,” try choosing the day. Text the friend. Send the invitation. Say yes when someone asks you. You do not need a perfectly clean house, a wide-open weekend, or a big reason to make time. Your friendships are reason enough.
The memories are in the time we choose to share
This summer, a few of us made time for Deep Creek Lake. It was sunny, easy, and full of the kind of conversation that reminds you how good it feels to simply be together. Those moments are not accidental. They happen because someone puts the date on the calendar and everyone decides it matters.
That is true for the big trips and the smaller traditions too. A WVU tailgate. A birthday dinner. A workout class. A last-minute stop for coffee. These are the moments that keep us connected to the women who make life lighter.
A little reminder from the Kroger deli
Seeing my friend at Kroger reminded me that we cannot always wait for life to slow down before we reconnect. Life may not slow down. But we can choose to make the call, send the text, and make the plan anyway.
Maybe there is someone you have been meaning to reach out to. Someone you miss. Someone who would probably love to hear from you. Do it today. Not because you need to be more social or add another obligation, but because friendship is one of the ways we take care of ourselves and each other.
Especially after starting a new job, I am grateful for the friends who keep me supported, laughing, and grounded. Here's to making the time, taking the trip, saying yes to the coffee, and never letting too much life pass between the people we love.
Cheers to friendship, Fab Friends.
Stacey
